Wednesday, January 13, 2010

a safe place really?

Is this really a forum where I can share my true feelings about things?

I honestly think not.

Not only is this page really open to anyone on the internet but it is (I think) read by people who care about me.

I do want to keep writing lovely inspiring posts, or updates about how things are going for me.

This is a personal blog, so I shouldn't feel bad about nattering on and on about myself, and also I should not feel bad about sharing less than stellar things.

But then I wonder why? What is the rationale behind me wanting to share things?

Am I venting? Which isn't necessarily a good thing all of the time.  Or am I wanting someone to read what I have to say without me saying it to their face?

I don't write things because I worry about other people's feelings, and sadly what other people will think of me.

So the question today is, is this really the place to talk about upsets? Is this a place to share real feelings about frustrations and challenges? Or not?

So anyone that reads this weigh in on what you think! I look forward to comments!


  1. I think that blogs are excellent places to process some of our feelings. Notice two key words: process and some. To the first, processing is not about absolute disclosure. In fact, it might be very little exposure. In public contexts it can be healthy to find and focus on the universal aspects of what you are feeling while being very careful with the specifics. To the second, SOME feelings/experiences are just not for public consumption.

    An important rule of thumb is that you never expect the blog to be the first or primary place to work out problems. Blogs are a good place to ponder and express and process, but NOT look for solutions. Too many people "vent" online and that is never good. Venting is, generally, unhealthy. Confession, a much better practice, is also (generally) not good on a blog. So, I would be honest, real, but careful, general and reflective.

  2. Ah Jamie, your advice is always so well thought out and tailored to me!

    Thank you! I will take that to heart!

    Love you xoxoxo

  3. Crystal, I think you have a good balance. I feel your blog is about your personal responses to things you're experiencing, rather than your deepest struggles (which I think you need to, of course, be careful about sharing online). You are vulnerable, but to a good point.

    I like that you talk about anything you're going through. Life is just life and you always have good reflections about the things you experience.

  4. Thank you Carrie! I see that as well in your blog posts! Love you tons and tons and tons!

  5. 你怎麼能經過一片海,而忘記它的藍?.........................

  6. You're so nice Crystal. Namie is spam. Notice the link in the "................"?

  7. Ooooooh! Yeesh! I even translated it so I could know what it meant! hahaha

  8. Its your what you want. If you want to vent about a bad day..I say this is the perfect place! The good thing about blogs is that you aren't forcing people to read them, so I wouldn't be too worried about people's feelings. They have the option of to read or not to read. If they like it they will continue, if not then they can stop. I like to think of blogging as a diary, its for all your venting, updates and anything else you want to share. Happy Blogging

  9. Thanks Laralee! What is the link to your blog?

  10. My link is i love when ppl read and leave doesn't happen often, but feel free to stop by!

  11. No offense to Laralee, but her confessed low traffic is possibly one key reason why she thinks blogs are good places to vent or write like a diary. Should she gain more following, that might change. I affirm what the Jaime person said earlier. Be open, honest, but very, very careful.

  12. Who are you anonymous!?
    Thanks for stopping by!

  13. The thing about blog communities is you feel like you get a sense of who a person is by the way they write or what they share. It can be a great community and very generous to vulnerabilities. However, you have to be comfortable with very public opinion and if you are sharing something that you're not willing to hear criticism or an opposite opinion on - don't share. Save the intimate and your heart for those you trust and who love you.

  14. I really am pretty cool when people want to challenge me by expressing differing opinions (I love seeing the other side of the coin), and I like criticism, because from that you grow (criticism has such a bad connotation but its not a bad thing).
    I do love that you pointed out how intimate things should stay that way, I think that's a reason I wrote this post. I was frustrated about something and wasn't sure if it was the proper place to post it. I am glad I didn't let me tell ya!
    Thanks Coralee! Love you!